The life of an almost-missionary

If the infrequency of our blog posting since the new year has been any indication... we have been busy getting ready for our departure that is now less than two months away.  It's hard to describe, but as soon as we hit May, there was a whole new feeling to this preparation thing.

The second weekend in May, we held a yard sale, which cleared out some clutter and gave us some cash to stock up on items that we'll need to take with us: medicines, bedding, plenty of socks for the kids, and other extra clothing for the four of us.  We haven't gotten everything we need yet... we just keep a growing list!

The following three weeks after the yard sale were fast and furious.  The kids and I had ten play dates or meetings in the mornings, we had nine evening activities between Jim and I, and six dinners with friends and supporters.  We took a trip to help Jim's sister and her husband with the house they are building and had some great cousin time with their new little one.  My mom has been here now for two days, and will stay through Friday the 4th.  We are working hard at packing during this holiday weekend, and then during the week, we'll have some special time at the zoo, Focus on the Family, and the dinosaur museum.

Next, we'll spend some time in Denver June 6th-11th with close friends, and then we'll return to our last week in Woodland Park.  We'll be moving out June 21st from Woodland Park to spend time with Jim's family in Colorado and Oregon until our departure from Denver to New York/Kenya on July 20th.  We'll be in orientation for a few weeks in Kenya, and on August 18th, we will finally see our new home at the Rift Valley Academy.

There's a lot ahead of us, but already...

We are tired.
I can remember only one night of an 8 hour sleep in the last... hmmm... 4 months?

We are weary.
Discouragement has really been eating at me in the last few weeks.  Sometimes I feel lonely, or I feel unequipped, or I feel that the strain and stress might get worse before it gets better. 

We are in over our heads.
We are preparing to rent our house ourselves, we are moving across the world, we are trying to maintain relationships with our supporters and understand God's design for that, and we are raising a three and a five year old... lots of firsts and unknowns.

And by the grace of the Father, we are hanging in there, but this is not an easy time.

Moving is a big thing altogether, but it's only complicated by trying to keep some sense of normalcy for two young children whose world is about to be quite different from the only life they've known, trying to decide what goes in the suitcases that will supply us for the next two years (not much) and what stays behind (most of it), and did I mention this is our first time moving as a married couple, and a family?!  Yep.  Complicated.

As we have packed up Jim's classroom, ended my ministry with MOPS, and are beginning to live in an empty, less-homey home, the more we realize how comfortable our life had become in Woodland Park.  We are so grateful for the Godly foundation the six years here has given our marriage, our parenting, and our call to missions.  But we also realize it will be more than a few months before we have a place that feels like home again.  And more than a year before we feel comfortable in our surroundings again, most likely.

A lot looms before us.  And we're not braver, or more adventurous, or better than others to do this.  We aren't super-human nor are we getting brownie points in heaven for becoming missionaries in Africa.  We are broken, sinful, weak, and never enough.  But God is enough, he uses and will continue to use our emptiness, and happened to prepare a place for us in Kenya that is more than what we ever expected or imagined.